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May. 12th, 2013 04:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
peacewishA few thoughts that need getting off my chest, before TFP comes back swinging this weekend for round 2:
Season 3: BEAST HUNTERS was going to march in to our homes and gobsmack the hell out of us. That much was obvious just because of the new subtitle. I mean, c'mon, the words were branded into the screen under the main title, so you'd know this is supposed to be huge. WE BEAST HUNTERS, WE DESTROY YOU PUNY HUMANS HAHAHAHAHA. And of course none of us had forgotten the tragic finale of season two, with our hero's secret base made not so secret, Megatron suddenly noticing that Earth would be really super easy to conquer, and Cybertron's chances of rehabilitation apparently lost forever. With great solemnity, the Autobots and humans took turns walking out on Prime, knowing that they've lost 99% of this war and that there's nothing but hiding to protect them from total Decepticon victory.
--> Cut to beginning of season two. The Decepticons have a massively cool fortress on Earth now, which probably will set you back at least $100 at Toys R Us, have all technical and strategic advantage, and are deploying soldiers on a regular basis to hunt down and eliminate the last possible threat against their victory. Luckily, Bumblebee manages to fool the Seekers with REVERSING HIS PAINT JOB. Yes, the Decepticon Seekers, who are named for being really really good at searching for things, actually get a visual on one of Prime's Autobots, within full sensor range, note the fact that he is Chevy Camaro model (just like one of Prime's Autobots!), even note the fact that he is yellow and black... but doh! It's supposed to be yellow with black stripes, not black with yellow stripes! There's no possible way this could be one of Prime's Autobots, an Autobot in hiding from the enemy would never think to change his paintjob! Or rather, not even bother to change the colors, just switch them around on parts of his body!
I mean, obviously Bumblebee has limited options for disguise. It's not as if he's a member of a species that CAN ADOPT NEW FORMS TO HIDE THEMSELVES or anything like that. Nope, gonna stick with the same car model that the Cons already know about and even the same color scheme, and hope it's enough to fool any Decepticons who practically trip over him. Luckily for Bee, the Seekers on patrol are even dumber than he is and go on their merry way.
Later, Arcee will complain that if she'd tried the same trick, she'd be pink. I say, what the hell's wrong with pink? It's okay to be a feminist kick-ass ninja bot and still like pink, there's nothing wrong with the color.
Luckily for the Decepticons, Soundwave is a thousand times more competent than the Seeker patrols and catches the text that Jack sent to his mom, like a dumbass. Thrilling action sequence follows, which made my heart jump up into my throat for Jack, because damn Laserbeak was not holding back. He could have died on several different occasions in that brief five minutes, but he displayed some scrappy cunning that was nowhere visible when he decided to send a text to his mother (How dumb was that? Even Miko knew better, that's how dumb.) and he and Arcee managed to get clear while roasting Laserbeak in a gasoline station explosion.
Next scene, Megatron and Starscream are hovering over Soundwave shoulder while he tries to tend to his poor, charred symbiont whom he clearly loves more than life itself.
Megatron: Well?
Starscream: Can you recover any video footage of the battle?
Soundwave: LASERBEAK'S FINE BY THE WAY, BITCHES.
It must be very hard to be the only Con in Darkmount that doesn't talk. Alas, we leave Soundwave for a little while to follow Knock Out back to Cybertron, who's fussing that he really liked the phase shifter, which makes no sense because thanks to that thing he was stuck in a wall for at least several hours. Maybe he's not aware of the umpteen porn fics we fangirls promptly got to work on as soon as we realized his aft must be sticking out the other side. Instead he finds (gasp!) Shockwave, who of course survived getting shot in the middle of a spacebridge tunnel and now marches into Darkmount looking all big and scary and stuff.
I note that they changed his optic from gold to red. Wonder why? More importantly, god do I miss Corey Burton. I just loathe the way TFP Shockwave talks, it's so brutish. I think they're trying to go for a cold, flat monotone, because he is so very LOGICAL and all, but it just comes off sounding like a dumb hechman. ME SHOCKWAVE, YOU JANE. Shockwave may be logical, but he's also supercilious, he's snide, he fawns over Megatron and disses everyone else - these attitudes just can't come across with a voice that sounds like a, well, robot. I find nothing wrong with the things he's actually saying, in fact I think his dialogue is excellent, so it's not a writing problem - just a casting and acting one.
However, all that said, every word between him and Starscream is like pure gold. For the next three episodes, this pair spends their every waking moment struggling to outdo the other, and make the rival look as conceivably stupid as possible in front of Megatron. They're like two besotted boys trying to impress the head cheerleader, but less mature. First Starscream gets the idea to let Wheeljack go with a tracking device on him. Smug look, point 1 for Starscream! Then Jack finds it and humiliates the hell out of Starscream when he and Bulkhead blow up the patrol. Ooh, minus 1 point for Starscream. Then Shockwave brings in his dragon pet, point 1 for Shockwave! Then the Bots get clever and push the dragon through a groundbridge into the North Pole. Aw, minus a point for Shockwave. Up down, up down, up down. The cattiness was wonderful, and exactly the sort of thing I like to see between these two particular Decepticons. The crowning moment was when Starscream watched the dragon vanish into thin air, probably never to be found, and possibly resigning the entire battle to a total loss for the Decepticons, and he turns around with a shrug and says, "Oh, well." LOL Starcream, you're so mean.
Meanwhile, Soundwave is off in the corner doing all the work, as usual, and getting no screen time whatsoever. I'm starting to worry that not once in the entire series will we get an episode featuring him, and that thing with Wheeljack and Ratchet last season does not count. I want an episode from his perspective, one that's ALL about him, the kind of episode that every single character on the show, Starscream and Shockwave included, has gotten at least once if not more. He does all the work for the Decepticons, he deserves it! On a not-so-unrelated note, is that secret virus planted on Laserbeak ever going to come up again? Ever?
Back at the Autobot ranch, Optimus is wheezing and rattling his last, surprisingly drawn out, breaths and telling Smokescreen that the Matrix is about to choose him as next leader. Uh, Smokimus Prime? Don't think so, writers, so just put You've Got the Touch back in its CD case and tuck that away for some other day. Luckily, Smokescreen seemed to agree.
Big honkin' spaceship flies in out of nowhere, zeroes in on Arcee, and lands next to her in the desert. How did it find her when none of the other Autobots can even find each other? Oh wait, I know, it's because she didn't have the foresight to switch her paintjob and go pink. No wonder Ultra Magnus picked her out with no problem!
Enter Ultra Magus. He's a bit of a dick, as usual, straightlaced and humorless, protocol this and 'sir' that. I was unimpressed at first, and when Wheeljack asked who put Shoulder Pads in charge, I was inclined to agree. But then came the invasion of Darkmount, and hubba hubba. Magnus just busted into that fortress like it ain't no thang, popped off two Cons before they had the chance to say "huh?" and was going right for the target when Megatron jumped to intercept him.
Megatron: I suppose you think you're going to destroy this.
Magnus: That's right. And you are in my way.
Helloooo, Officer Badass. Let me fan myself while you clash with the other titan, never mind that he's bigger and probably better armed. Magnus obviously doesn't let such things concern him. He may be a bit of a stick in the sludge, but he's a smart leader and not afraid to take on anything, and his battle banter is so straightforward and matter-of-fact that's it not banter at all - just pure statement of intention. Is it me, or was Arcee batting her optics just a little at the four star general? She's a bit of a buzzkill herself, so the strict adherence to military discipline is probably a turn-on for her, and he's obviously got mad skillz on the battlefield. I don't think she'd mind getting fragged on his desk, and I'd really love seeing a fanfic for it.
In the meantime, Smokescreen does the only obvious thing to be done, pulls Optimus back from the brink, and sends him off to kick general Decepticon aft.
Megatron: What's that up there in the sky?
Starscream: It's a bird! It's a plane! Wait a sec- red and blue? Oh frag.
And the newly resurrected Optimus swoops in and demolishes the Cons, as newly resurrected Optimus usually does - getting pulled back from death must come with an included tune-up and 100% power charge. And so Darkmount comes tumbling down, and the Cons have to scuttle away in the Nemesis with hardly anything at all to show for their grand 99% victory they'd won just four episodes ago.
That's a large part of my problem with how episode 4 ended, fun as it was to see 'robust' Optimus pounding Cons into the dirt. Season 2 ended in such darkness, so incredibly tragic, that it seemed it would surely take all of season 3 to pull themselves back together and rally for a rematch. Instead, the Autobots managed to save Optimus, get a new heavy hitter soldier on the team, freeze the invincible dragon, and blow up Megatron's fortress in the space of just four episodes. It's too quick; I wasn't ready for a happy ending so soon. Now I'm nervous about what the next eight episodes are going to bring, because it's obviously not over and yet what new threat can manifest itself and also be subdued in time for the series to end? And in terms of logistics, what are the Autobots even going to do? They can't rebuild their base in the same location because it's been made. It seems illogical to even stay in the same state. What does this mean for the kids? Isn't Jasper more or less blown up anyway? Where are all the residents going to go, and how are Jack and Raf going to fix it so they can stay with the bots instead? Miko, I'm sure, has more than overstayed her exchange student term and those poor host parents will be more than happy to wave goodbye - whether her actual parents have even noticed that she's been gone for nearly two years is unclear. They're enjoying the peace and quiet, I'm sure.
So, new characters, new situations, new enemies and new friends. Lots of things this show is poised to do now, I just wish that I didn't already know it will have to be crammed into 8 episodes. And when oh when will Soundwave ever get his spotlight? I'm waiting for it, Hasbro - please don't break my heart!
Season 3: BEAST HUNTERS was going to march in to our homes and gobsmack the hell out of us. That much was obvious just because of the new subtitle. I mean, c'mon, the words were branded into the screen under the main title, so you'd know this is supposed to be huge. WE BEAST HUNTERS, WE DESTROY YOU PUNY HUMANS HAHAHAHAHA. And of course none of us had forgotten the tragic finale of season two, with our hero's secret base made not so secret, Megatron suddenly noticing that Earth would be really super easy to conquer, and Cybertron's chances of rehabilitation apparently lost forever. With great solemnity, the Autobots and humans took turns walking out on Prime, knowing that they've lost 99% of this war and that there's nothing but hiding to protect them from total Decepticon victory.
--> Cut to beginning of season two. The Decepticons have a massively cool fortress on Earth now, which probably will set you back at least $100 at Toys R Us, have all technical and strategic advantage, and are deploying soldiers on a regular basis to hunt down and eliminate the last possible threat against their victory. Luckily, Bumblebee manages to fool the Seekers with REVERSING HIS PAINT JOB. Yes, the Decepticon Seekers, who are named for being really really good at searching for things, actually get a visual on one of Prime's Autobots, within full sensor range, note the fact that he is Chevy Camaro model (just like one of Prime's Autobots!), even note the fact that he is yellow and black... but doh! It's supposed to be yellow with black stripes, not black with yellow stripes! There's no possible way this could be one of Prime's Autobots, an Autobot in hiding from the enemy would never think to change his paintjob! Or rather, not even bother to change the colors, just switch them around on parts of his body!
I mean, obviously Bumblebee has limited options for disguise. It's not as if he's a member of a species that CAN ADOPT NEW FORMS TO HIDE THEMSELVES or anything like that. Nope, gonna stick with the same car model that the Cons already know about and even the same color scheme, and hope it's enough to fool any Decepticons who practically trip over him. Luckily for Bee, the Seekers on patrol are even dumber than he is and go on their merry way.
Later, Arcee will complain that if she'd tried the same trick, she'd be pink. I say, what the hell's wrong with pink? It's okay to be a feminist kick-ass ninja bot and still like pink, there's nothing wrong with the color.
Luckily for the Decepticons, Soundwave is a thousand times more competent than the Seeker patrols and catches the text that Jack sent to his mom, like a dumbass. Thrilling action sequence follows, which made my heart jump up into my throat for Jack, because damn Laserbeak was not holding back. He could have died on several different occasions in that brief five minutes, but he displayed some scrappy cunning that was nowhere visible when he decided to send a text to his mother (How dumb was that? Even Miko knew better, that's how dumb.) and he and Arcee managed to get clear while roasting Laserbeak in a gasoline station explosion.
Next scene, Megatron and Starscream are hovering over Soundwave shoulder while he tries to tend to his poor, charred symbiont whom he clearly loves more than life itself.
Megatron: Well?
Starscream: Can you recover any video footage of the battle?
Soundwave: LASERBEAK'S FINE BY THE WAY, BITCHES.
It must be very hard to be the only Con in Darkmount that doesn't talk. Alas, we leave Soundwave for a little while to follow Knock Out back to Cybertron, who's fussing that he really liked the phase shifter, which makes no sense because thanks to that thing he was stuck in a wall for at least several hours. Maybe he's not aware of the umpteen porn fics we fangirls promptly got to work on as soon as we realized his aft must be sticking out the other side. Instead he finds (gasp!) Shockwave, who of course survived getting shot in the middle of a spacebridge tunnel and now marches into Darkmount looking all big and scary and stuff.
I note that they changed his optic from gold to red. Wonder why? More importantly, god do I miss Corey Burton. I just loathe the way TFP Shockwave talks, it's so brutish. I think they're trying to go for a cold, flat monotone, because he is so very LOGICAL and all, but it just comes off sounding like a dumb hechman. ME SHOCKWAVE, YOU JANE. Shockwave may be logical, but he's also supercilious, he's snide, he fawns over Megatron and disses everyone else - these attitudes just can't come across with a voice that sounds like a, well, robot. I find nothing wrong with the things he's actually saying, in fact I think his dialogue is excellent, so it's not a writing problem - just a casting and acting one.
However, all that said, every word between him and Starscream is like pure gold. For the next three episodes, this pair spends their every waking moment struggling to outdo the other, and make the rival look as conceivably stupid as possible in front of Megatron. They're like two besotted boys trying to impress the head cheerleader, but less mature. First Starscream gets the idea to let Wheeljack go with a tracking device on him. Smug look, point 1 for Starscream! Then Jack finds it and humiliates the hell out of Starscream when he and Bulkhead blow up the patrol. Ooh, minus 1 point for Starscream. Then Shockwave brings in his dragon pet, point 1 for Shockwave! Then the Bots get clever and push the dragon through a groundbridge into the North Pole. Aw, minus a point for Shockwave. Up down, up down, up down. The cattiness was wonderful, and exactly the sort of thing I like to see between these two particular Decepticons. The crowning moment was when Starscream watched the dragon vanish into thin air, probably never to be found, and possibly resigning the entire battle to a total loss for the Decepticons, and he turns around with a shrug and says, "Oh, well." LOL Starcream, you're so mean.
Meanwhile, Soundwave is off in the corner doing all the work, as usual, and getting no screen time whatsoever. I'm starting to worry that not once in the entire series will we get an episode featuring him, and that thing with Wheeljack and Ratchet last season does not count. I want an episode from his perspective, one that's ALL about him, the kind of episode that every single character on the show, Starscream and Shockwave included, has gotten at least once if not more. He does all the work for the Decepticons, he deserves it! On a not-so-unrelated note, is that secret virus planted on Laserbeak ever going to come up again? Ever?
Back at the Autobot ranch, Optimus is wheezing and rattling his last, surprisingly drawn out, breaths and telling Smokescreen that the Matrix is about to choose him as next leader. Uh, Smokimus Prime? Don't think so, writers, so just put You've Got the Touch back in its CD case and tuck that away for some other day. Luckily, Smokescreen seemed to agree.
Big honkin' spaceship flies in out of nowhere, zeroes in on Arcee, and lands next to her in the desert. How did it find her when none of the other Autobots can even find each other? Oh wait, I know, it's because she didn't have the foresight to switch her paintjob and go pink. No wonder Ultra Magnus picked her out with no problem!
Enter Ultra Magus. He's a bit of a dick, as usual, straightlaced and humorless, protocol this and 'sir' that. I was unimpressed at first, and when Wheeljack asked who put Shoulder Pads in charge, I was inclined to agree. But then came the invasion of Darkmount, and hubba hubba. Magnus just busted into that fortress like it ain't no thang, popped off two Cons before they had the chance to say "huh?" and was going right for the target when Megatron jumped to intercept him.
Megatron: I suppose you think you're going to destroy this.
Magnus: That's right. And you are in my way.
Helloooo, Officer Badass. Let me fan myself while you clash with the other titan, never mind that he's bigger and probably better armed. Magnus obviously doesn't let such things concern him. He may be a bit of a stick in the sludge, but he's a smart leader and not afraid to take on anything, and his battle banter is so straightforward and matter-of-fact that's it not banter at all - just pure statement of intention. Is it me, or was Arcee batting her optics just a little at the four star general? She's a bit of a buzzkill herself, so the strict adherence to military discipline is probably a turn-on for her, and he's obviously got mad skillz on the battlefield. I don't think she'd mind getting fragged on his desk, and I'd really love seeing a fanfic for it.
In the meantime, Smokescreen does the only obvious thing to be done, pulls Optimus back from the brink, and sends him off to kick general Decepticon aft.
Megatron: What's that up there in the sky?
Starscream: It's a bird! It's a plane! Wait a sec- red and blue? Oh frag.
And the newly resurrected Optimus swoops in and demolishes the Cons, as newly resurrected Optimus usually does - getting pulled back from death must come with an included tune-up and 100% power charge. And so Darkmount comes tumbling down, and the Cons have to scuttle away in the Nemesis with hardly anything at all to show for their grand 99% victory they'd won just four episodes ago.
That's a large part of my problem with how episode 4 ended, fun as it was to see 'robust' Optimus pounding Cons into the dirt. Season 2 ended in such darkness, so incredibly tragic, that it seemed it would surely take all of season 3 to pull themselves back together and rally for a rematch. Instead, the Autobots managed to save Optimus, get a new heavy hitter soldier on the team, freeze the invincible dragon, and blow up Megatron's fortress in the space of just four episodes. It's too quick; I wasn't ready for a happy ending so soon. Now I'm nervous about what the next eight episodes are going to bring, because it's obviously not over and yet what new threat can manifest itself and also be subdued in time for the series to end? And in terms of logistics, what are the Autobots even going to do? They can't rebuild their base in the same location because it's been made. It seems illogical to even stay in the same state. What does this mean for the kids? Isn't Jasper more or less blown up anyway? Where are all the residents going to go, and how are Jack and Raf going to fix it so they can stay with the bots instead? Miko, I'm sure, has more than overstayed her exchange student term and those poor host parents will be more than happy to wave goodbye - whether her actual parents have even noticed that she's been gone for nearly two years is unclear. They're enjoying the peace and quiet, I'm sure.
So, new characters, new situations, new enemies and new friends. Lots of things this show is poised to do now, I just wish that I didn't already know it will have to be crammed into 8 episodes. And when oh when will Soundwave ever get his spotlight? I'm waiting for it, Hasbro - please don't break my heart!
