I hear ya. I actually cringe quite a bit when I see someone commenting on a fic with unwarranted criticism or "you should do this". Save the critique for the writing workshops.

And it could have been just thoughtless talking, but that frustrates me too. I'm hyper aware about how I come across in writing, because the person or audience I'm speaking to isn't there to take social ques from my body language. (Now, lord knows I slip up IRL and when my mind is focused on something else I don't pay attention to people and come across harsh. But I'm conscious of and working on that.) I edit and reread posts before sending them out there.

Maybe that's just me. When I reply (which is hardly, thank you anxiety), I want to be positive and encouraging. Because hey, that's what I would want.

All of this aside, it did not register before, but congratulations on your engagement! That's exciting.